I wanted kids pretty much for forever. I wasn't crazy about other people's children, but I always wanted a houseful of my own. So when I lost my first baby, I was completely and totally devastated. I grieved for the little one I would never hold in my arms.
I will never forget where I was the moment I knew my pain would pass. I was in my truck, driving down Gravois Road in St. Louis when I felt the words, "It's going to be okay. You're going to have a son." I wasn't exactly living my life for God right then - it was all about me. If ever there was a time I deserved a blessing, that wasn't it. But He saw my tears and chose to wipe them away anyway.
Later that week, I found out I was, in fact, pregnant again. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind beforehand. And 15 years ago today, I had the son I'd wanted for so long.
He's the most amazing son I could have asked for and I've treasured each and every moment he's been in my life. The man he's becoming brings me such joy, even though it's tinged by the sorrow of knowing I'll blink and he'll be gone - out exploring this great big wide world. I feel honored to be a part of his life, to be the one God chose to raise him.
So happy birthday to Dylan, the first of the three amazing blessings I call my sons.
Rolling hills that had been vibrant green just weeks ago were now muted in tone, as if they were taking a deep breath before bursting into the song of fall.